speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
