omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
