this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
