Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
