Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
