Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize