Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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