So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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