could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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