At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Green mimosas i think yes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
