he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
