i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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