let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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