I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need moral support for this bender
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
