guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
