Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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