After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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