I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
