hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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