Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
