it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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