so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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