To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
