Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
