The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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