I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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