Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
