Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sext me about skeletons
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
how does that bad decision feel?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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