I want to make a zoo with you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
