That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
