Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
