are you still at the devil's house?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's shark week go big or go home
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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