If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
