She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
