So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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