Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
