im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
