Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
