So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
