Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
