It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
