party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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