I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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