Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
