Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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