: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
