While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize