Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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