You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
