Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize