Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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