Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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