there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
