He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So here I am, sexting at work.
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