C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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