so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
