I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
