Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
