Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Vodka?
Forever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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