Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
