i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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