hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
