i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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