We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
